ALAN DENT

THE MOST MORAL ARMY IN THE WORLD

We kill and we maim, shoot kids in their beds

bury corpses in pits, sometimes slice off their heads

the sick we love bombing, the old we beat sore

it’s our business, our pleasure, the fine stuff of war

if we mangle your mother, though you think it’s quite barmy

give thanks for the care of the most moral army;

Oh, the most moral army humanity’s seen

we smash and we slash we snipe and we preen

though liberals cry “Horror!” and anarchists fuss

the most moral army on earth, yes, that’s us;

We love skinning Arabs or mashing their brains

all Arabs love terror our doctrine disdains

except the Irgun, the Hagana and Lehi

if anyone dares to slander them may he

feel the kind force of our most moral slaughter

we’ll quarter his wife and slice open his daughter;

Oh, the most moral army the world’s ever known

we love Palestinians and can’t leave them alone

it’s for their own good we burn them alive

for the world would be threatened if any survive;

We disembowel happily murder with joy

delight in the death of a young girl or boy

for an Arab child grows into terror made flesh

like the Irish kids raised to be penned in Long Kesh

and should we decide you belong with the shades

you’ll be treated to one of our virtuous raids;

Oh, the most moral army the mind can conceive

the way we spare lives you just wouldn’t believe;

when we’ve killed all the Arabs, there are still quite a few,

then beware treacherous gentile, we’ll be moral to you.